Security Detail

So I would have to say without hesitation that my best friend is Andre Benavides.  Through the years I have so many stories I could share that involve him, he is one of the most inappropriate and crazy fuckers I know.  If you met his dad Ben, it would explain everything.  I’m sure as my blog entries expand I will eventually tell more stories of our adventures.  As I type this numerous things come to mind and I can’t help but giggle hysterically like a school girl.  Haha!

So as a part time job while in college, I also did security jobs for a company call VIP security in California.  One of my jobs I mentioned in a previous post was to stand guard at the Polley Klaas Foundation and then at her memorial in Petaluma. It was there I was seen on the national news standing at the doorway by numerous news people who were covering the story.  I didn’t know the magnitude until I had relatives near and far who said they had seen me on TV.  Part of my security gig was as a bouncer at a mexican nightclub called bleachers in Santa Rosa.  I spoke little spanish but still would work the door and enforce policies.  It was a crazy job, but  a fun one.

Our friend Brian got a job to lead a crew at the cow palace in San Francisco.  There was a motorcycle show and we had to watch over the premises over night while no one was there but us.  If you haven’t been to the cow palace I can’t really explain how big it is.  I’ll just say it is huge and you could get lost there.  If I am not mistaken we were there for three nights.  I can’t remember who else did the job with us but I do clearly remember Brian, Andre and I.  So we had to spread out with walkie talkies and watch different parts of the building.  We had a station but would walk around often to see if anything was suspicious.  Basically it was completely boring.  I had school and another job, so every night going there I was absolutely exhausted and often hungry from rushing from one place to another and then landing at the cow palace.

By night two we were delirious from boredom and sleep deprivation.  Our friend Brian took this job way too serious.  Andre and I wanted to leave and get some McDonalds to eat because we were both hungry but Brian did not want us to go because he didn’t want us to get “breached”.  Did I mention we saw nothing while there?  I don’t even remember seeing a cat, nothing alive.  So I started singing into the walkie talkie.  I would sing one verse and Andre would click on his radio and sing the next verse.  Brian got really pissy and told us to stop because our radio traffic could be heard by other people.  And yes, he did use words like breach, radio traffic, 10-4, copy, etc.  We laughed but stopped.

I remember sitting all alone in this desolate part of the building looking for anything to do.  Keep in mind we didn’t have cell phones and facebook to pass time.  The more I sat and thought the more tired I got and the more my stomach growled.  Damn I was hungry.  I might starve to death soon.  I picked up the radio and whispered quietly “Big Mac with Friesssssssssssss” , I giggled a little bit and waited for backlash………  nothing.  Then I hear quietly coming out of my radio “Quarter pounder with cheeseeeeeeeeeeeee”.  There were other dudes there but I had no doubt that Andre was the one whispering like me.  I laughed out loud hysterically.  I picked up the radio and whispered another type of food.  After a couple of rounds I hear the loud angry voice of Brian saying “Whoever this is better stop!  I told you that our traffic can be heard.”

Oh my, I thought, he doesn’t know who it is.  So this adrenaline and fun went on for a while.  We went through tons of foods and it never got old.  Brian would get on and tell us to quit but we didn’t.

Finally it all ended when Andre got caught.  Brian was sneaking around the premises trying to pinpoint who was saying it.  He got to where Andre was and hid around the corner where he could see Andre but Andre couldn’t see him.  Andre looks around to see if its clear and doesn’t see Brian and whispers the ultimate thing that could piss Brian off, but also the ultimate thing to make me lose my mind with laughter.  Andre whispers “Your Mom’s hot pussyyyyyyyyyyyyyy”

Here is a picture of Andre:


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